Transitions

Four weeks from today is my first day back at work. The job I get paid to do, but the one that isn't my most important job any more.  I'm looking forward to being around adults and someone actually responding when I say something. That will be a nice change. It will also be nice to have a change of atmosphere and responsibilities. My responsibilities at home such as cleaning, etc., will be waiting for me, but I won't be looking at them 24/7. But I'm also getting less time with my most important people.

Today I'm nervous and sad. There are so many changes taking place that day, four weeks from now. There are so many changes taking place from now till then and from then onward for awhile. Easton will start daycare again and hopefully feel comfortable with old friends and caregivers. Responsibilities will shift within our household. Things will get more hectic. I'll wonder how I'm going to do it all. I've done this before. Twice. I know how it's going to go down. Obviously there is one more person in the equation now, so that will change things. But I just need to get through the next three months and routine will be with us again, hopefully.

The biggest change will be for Vy. Like I said, I've done this before. That doesn't necessarily make it easier, but I know what to expect. Her life is going to change a lot. She is going to stay with a good friend of ours during the day, which is such a blessing. She will have a wonderful time and will be well cared for, but it will be different. Her mama won't be there. I think we've only been apart for 4 hours at a time for her whole life. In the next few weeks, we will also be weaning during the day, maybe entirely. That will be a huge change. I expect that she will be super clingy and up even more during the night. And I will feel super guilty.

I wish I could prepare her. Or that she would know that I'm always coming back. But I guess she has to learn by experience, and probably tears.

Ack! I just realized that it is only three weeks. Do not panic. Do not panic.